A Mindset Shift

Simplify Your Space: A Mindset Shift (Part 1)

In this two part series, I cover my own journey with stuff and how you can simplify your space. Part 1, A Mindset Shift, shares how I became inspired and the books that helped me change my approach to stuff. Part 2, Tackle the Excess, covers practical approaches to taking baby steps to tackle the items that no longer serve you.

Someone asked me recently, “How do you keep your house so clean?”  The complex answer to his question was many years in the making.  

I Should Have Known

Visitors would be shocked to know that in my youth I was a complete and utter slob.  There were clothes and books and other assorted things piled about eight inches deep. They covered every single square inch of hardwood floor in my room.  My parents tried for years to get me to clean it and/or keep it clean.  

There was a particularly traumatic incident when I was around twelve years old. My father (hey, Dad – it was totally warranted) “cleaned” my room with four garbage bags. Yup, he grabbed every single item on the floor and packed it into the garbage bags. He promptly carted them downstairs, and stuck them in our laundry room. I was not allowed to retrieve anything.  Well, except my school uniforms because, well, Catholic school rules.

Looking back, this incident should have been my first clue that I was secretly a minimalist.  When my things were taken away, I didn’t actually miss them. That empty room gave me to space to breath.  Eventually, Dad caved and gave me back my things. I suspect they were getting in the way in the laundry room. Henceforth, the cycle continued for many more years.

A Discovery of an Ideology

It wasn’t until I was in my early 30s that I discovered minimalism as a movement, and the power this philosophy had to change my life.  I was at a point in my life where I wasn’t so happy with my job, I wasn’t so happy with how I felt in my skin and I just felt stressed, not in control and like I never had enough time to do all the things I wanted to accomplish.  And then I stumbled across the small but mighty book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo.  You probably have heard of it – it was endlessly hyped a few years ago.

Some people shut down when they hear the word “minimalism”. Their mind immediately conjures blank white rooms with one chair and a plant.  That vision is just one person’s definition of minimalism; it doesn’t mean stark homes or empty rooms or toy-free spaces.  

Minimalism is really about having the amount to things required to make you happy and in-balance with your home.  It means not stashing stuff you don’t need and will never use, liberating yourself from stuff well-meaning people give you that you never liked to begin with and creating space to live life without constantly feeling like your space is pressing in on you.

Blueprint to Change

Marie Kondo’s book gave me the blueprint to tackle my excess stuff with efficiency and a method to make decisions.  I’ll grant you her method is a little “woo woo”, but it worked for me.  Konmari recommends you start with clothing because you often have a strong gut reflex on whether or not you like an article of clothing. This reflex speeds up the decision-making process, making it become instinctual.  Basically, if the shirt “sparks joy” when you pick it up, you get to keep the shirt. 

This is how my husband, Mike, came to find me sitting in our living room with a giant, and I mean GIANT, pile of clothes – ruthlessly picking up each article and deciding which sort pile to put it in.  

After watching me for a few minutes, liberating myself from clothes that would never fit again or clothes that didn’t fit quite right or clothes that I used to love but didn’t anymore, Mike joined me.  He created his own pile and started to pare down to just clothes he liked to wear and felt good in.  We moved on to other spaces – old mugs, mismatched silverware, fifty million Tupperware with only thirty million lids.  So together, we started this journey. It continues for us today, because no matter how hard you try, the stuff keeps flowing in.  

Creating Mental Space with a Mindset Shift

After Marie Kondo, I read Goodbye, Things: The New Japanese Minimalism, by Fumio Sasaki.  This book really dives into the author’s mindset around collecting stuff, why he had so much stuff and how he felt when he whittled down his belongings.  Now, the author is a pretty extreme minimalist. His version of minimalism does not appeal to me personally. This dude sleeps on a mattress on the floor and doesn’t own a tv; however, I found his mental journey to understanding that he was not his stuff to be extremely freeing.

In the U.S., our love affair with gismos and gadgets and fast fashion is intense.  I remember growing up in the 90s, the news covered Black Friday shopping as if it was a war. Journalist were waiting for first blood.  In Goodbye Things, the author shines a bright light on some of the ways stuff, and specifically having stuff, messed with his head and how his perspective changed as he slowly divested himself of possessions that took up too much space in his life.  As he created physical space in his life, he also created mental space in his life.    

Extra stuff in your house can present as pressure and stress.  You can’t find the items you use regularly because they are mixed it with stuff you use rarely or never.  Maybe the reason you have been kicking around that box of knitting supplies is that you actually lack the desire to knit. Maybe you have the desire but right now there are other needs that take up your time.  And yet, you keep looking at the box and thinking, “I should work on that knitting.”  (I write this post while glancing at my own forlorn knitting bin with the scarf that will never be finished). That box is stressing you out in a covert manner!

In other words, cutting stuff loose requires a mindset shift.

But What Will My Friends Think?

At first, people around you might think you’re kind of crazy, but usually they come around.  Shopping in the store with my mom, she will occasionally hold up an item and ask me if it “sparks joy.”  I don’t even prevaricate anymore; the answer is either immediately yay or nay.  Some of your friends will watch your progress quietly for a while and then sneak attack you at 11 a.m. on a Saturday with a picture of 11 trash bags lined up in their hallway.  

My journey is my own, and while I am free with sharing my experiences, everyone is entitled to keep their space as they see fit.  If you are interested in exploring a change, there are many wonderful blogs, podcasts and books on the topic of decluttering, each bringing a little bit different voice to the topic.  Let your fingers do some googling.  

This week I shared my early beginnings in minimalism and the two books that hooked me for life with a mindset shift. I have read other books since then, but they did not inspire me to those original heights. In my next post, I will share some practical tips you can implement if you are looking to make a change.  If not, skip the next article, and I’ll see you on the flip side!

As always, I’m here with any of your homeownership questions.  I don’t always have the answer, but I’m awesome at finding the person how does.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva from Pexels